My wife likes girls

My Wife Likes Girls

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He likened it to being in the grip of a jackhammer. But here's the best part: She thought it was hilarious, and they both still laugh about it to this day.

Twisted as that may sound, there was something we found oddly admirable about a couple who could joke about something like this together.

My wife and I agree that stories like this are a big part of what drew us into the scene -- the fact that couples are comfortable engaging in these silly sexcapades and telling each other about them.

We've only been married a few years, but seriously, we now believe this is how you 1 make a marriage last, and 2 keep it exciting for decades to come.

Just because we're swingers doesn't mean that we'll fuck any random genitals that people whip out. But that's kind of the impression outsiders get, right?

Even when we're ready for sex, we have to respect the other couples, and we definitely don't want to be the awkward aggressive one.

So there ends up being a lot of "feeling each other out," so to speak. OK fine, you can giggle at that one. No matter how excited we get, we have to recognize when our partner is 1 uncomfortable with the person we're hooking up with, 2 uncomfortable with the person they're supposed to be hooking up with, or 3 just plain not in the mood.

A failure to do so is the surest way to jam a spiked butt plug into your relationship. In fact, this was something we noticed about our now-divorced friends.

It didn't matter how clearly not into another couple she was, he would keep going and even berate her for not being in the mood.

Remember how I mentioned that the wife was pretty ambivalent about me? That never stopped the husband from trying to hit on my wife.

And in the end, that only made all three of us my wife and I, as well as his wife uncomfortable. The sad reality is, you'll often meet a couple where you are totally into your "counterpart," but your partner is not remotely attracted to theirs.

Like maybe he looks like Richard Spencer or something. Or hell, maybe he is Richard Spencer. When that happens, you and your partner need to execute some covert negotiations in the heat of the moment.

Because you don't want to be an asshole and say, "Sorry, dude. I like your wife, but my wife thinks you're grotesque. At this point, you either have to agree to call it off completely, or your partner has to be willing to "take one for the team.

Now, for the record, some couples do appear to be okay with one partner calling it a night while the other partner keeps going.

But most couples we've met are leery of this, because it always smacks of those not-quite-on-the-same-page, not-so-tight couples.

We're all out to have fun -- comfortable fun. And if any couple even hints of drama, well, there are plenty of other couples to hook up with.

We've talked before about how this lifestyle is predominantly driven by women , but I wanted to elaborate, because it's a huge part of what makes this work.

Whether true or not, the societal stereotype of women being demure and men being walking boners is at least acknowledged in the swinger scene. And because there is this unspoken assumption that men are more into casual sex than women, experienced couples will often let the women take the lead.

That is to say, a couple will move at a pace the woman feels comfortable with. Many of the events we attend start like any typical party, with everyone just hanging out hehehehe having drinks.

As people loosen up, the women start dancing with each other, and at some point, that escalates into touching and kissing. Once they've sufficiently indulged their bisexual sides, only then will the men join in and everyone starts swapping.

It just makes everyone so much more comfortable that way. If "reality porn" were honest, you'd skip the first five hours of it.

Sidenote: This dynamic does make it slightly more challenging to be a completely straight woman in the scene. Plus, there's the fact that single men are simply not welcome in the scene.

Every now and then, we do meet a male unicorn not an actual term, because single males are so rare that an actual term is pretty much moot , but they're always there by personal invitation from a female event host only.

Without fail, they are incredibly charming and incredibly good-looking, and even more notably, they are respectful and don't make unwanted advances.

If anything, they're available for any interested women to approach. They're not there to hit on women themselves.

The bottom line is, everyone gets creeped out by the inappropriately aggressive man. For the record, every now and then, we will run across an inappropriately aggressive woman.

In these cases, though, people get less creeped out and more eye-rolly. Put this all together, and it creates a comfortable environment for women to be sexually uninhibited and still fully in control.

Remember what I said about swingers being picky about who, when, and where they'll fuck? Well, that means something more when you consider that swinging is something we just do for fun every now and then.

Just like how you and your significant other may decide to go out for a fancy dinner as a way to be romantic on a Saturday, my wife and I may decide to unleash a fuck storm as ours.

Despite what the term "lifestyle" may imply, it doesn't actually consume our lives. Yet some people seem to think we're looking to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere.

The worst is the invariably male acquaintance who somehow finds out about our lifestyle and is just a tad too eager with his questions -- or worse, his touching.

Like x 5. Location: Florida. Very, very much. Like x 3. Location: This Island Earth. I'm not a woman but I've been with enough to know that women often enjoy watching the same things that men enjoy watching as far as it applies to the opposite sex.

It's easy to assume that the sexes are so different that maybe women are only into holding hands, kissing in the rain and all that nutty stalker shit from John Cusack's early years.

Women can be just as nasty as men; I know that one for a fact. The issue with many couples is that one partner is a raging volcano of lust and the other one is basically dead in the pants.

My exwife used to enjoy watching me yank the crank and, by the time she was licking the semen off my chest, she was begging.

And I've had partners that really weren't into masturbation at all. Instead of wishing that she would masturbate so you could covertly observe way too much scheduling , have you considered coaxing her into doing such while you sit across from her in the bedroom?

Mutual masturbation can be very satisfying as you control the tempo and the visuals can't be beat. Last edited: Mar 9, Plan9 , Mar 9, Location: Stateside.

I like it. Depends on the guy though I'm picky. Location: Columbus, OH. I had a relatively recent series of Skype sessions during which I most definitely enjoyed watching my man of interest masturbate.

PonyPotato , Mar 9, Like x 2. Yes, I like to watch. Make her feel comfortable talking about it. Tell her how much you respect gay and bisexual people and how many friends you have that are bisexual.

The bottom line is that, although there are some ways to get clues, there is no way to know for sure if someone is bisexual just by looking at them.

Method 3 of Assess her mood and body language signals. Recognize that men are often more overt about expressing their interest in someone romantically.

Women often hint. Does she ever show jealousy? Is she trying to get you alone or does she only hang out with you when other friends are along? Does she have open body language body facing toward the woman, palms up, feet pointing toward the woman or closed arms crossed over her chest, palms down, body facing away, etc.

Watch what she does with her eyes. Persistent eye contact can be a way of creating intimate connection and to flirt. Also, you should pay attention to the amount of personal space she leaves between herself and other women.

Is she trying to create a zone of intimacy? Look for clues in her fashion sense. Avoid stereotyping people. That being said, sometimes you can pick up clues from how she dresses her body.

Other clothing that might provide a clue would be low-slung pants, Calvin Klein briefs, and trendy fitted blazers. Short fingernails could also be a giveaway.

However, absolutely none of these clues is surefire. There are many bisexual women who dress differently. It all differs on the individual. I have a close friend and I think she already knows that I'm bisexual, she compliments me and touches me, and she tried to kiss me once.

Does that mean she likes me? Unless she acts the same way with absolutely everybody, yes, she likes you. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Give her some time, she may be feeling confused.

If it's been a few days and she isn't speaking to you, try approaching her and saying "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other night," or something like that and she'll probably give you an explanation for her behavior.

Not Helpful 6 Helpful Try bringing up LGBT topics and see how she responds. If she responds positively, try flirting with her. Not Helpful 7 Helpful I started becoming friends with this girl and when I came out to her she didn't take me seriously and thought I was joking.

I haven't talked to her since, should I still be friends with her? Give her another chance, come out again and tell her something like, "I'm being completely serious.

If she's rude to you about it, find another friend. Not Helpful 2 Helpful I want to tell this girl I'm bisexual, but I'm scared she might be homophobic and insult me.

How can I tell if she's not? Ask what she thinks about homosexuality. If she says something rude, then that's a sign she might insult you.

Not Helpful 15 Helpful My best friend is always looking at me, finding reasons to touch me, and telling me dirty jokes. Are these signs?

It could be, but it could also just be how she behaves with a BFF. If you're interested, try flirting with her more directly or intimately and see what happens.

Tell her that you like her as more than a friend if you want a relationship with her. Or you can just ask her if she would mind you kissing her.

Make sure not to ask in a joking way as she may not understand you are serious. Don't ask her around other people as that could be intimidating.

Not Helpful 8 Helpful I told my female friend who is bi that I was bi too, but she doesn't know that I have a crush on her. What does that mean?

This could go two different ways. She could have stopped touching you because she likes you and is trying to be subtle.

On the other hand, she might be afraid that you will get a crush on her and it will ruin the friendship. The only way to know for sure is to talk to her about your feelings.

Not Helpful 1 Helpful There is this girl who looks at me times a day but she doesn't act like she's bisexual, does she like me? It's hard to say.

Maybe she looks at everybody, or maybe she just wants to be your friend. You could try making eye contact with her and smiling or giving her some other encouraging sign, or striking up a conversation.

If you talked to her, you could probably get a better idea of how she feels. Not Helpful 10 Helpful How can I go about kissing another woman that I am friends with, without risking offending her or losing her friendship?

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In Las Vegas, of course, because duh. This one was going to be a four-day takeover of an entire hotel, with over 1, swingers in attendance.

As we were packing for the trip, we psyched ourselves up for what we were sure would be a massive hour orgy of writhing bodies.

We had another long discussion about how far we were willing to go "Let's just go for it all" was our consensus this time , and we showed up with roughly every condom produced that year.

Our fantasies were dashed pretty quickly. The first night, we walked into the venue and saw a bunch of people dressed in the sexiest attire we could imagine think Vegas nightclub, but without any rules about indecent exposure.

Everyone looked smoking hot, but we couldn't for the life of us figure out how to talk to anyone. As we walked around, we noticed that everyone seemed to be hanging out in their own cliques.

We felt pretty awkward, but we soon realized that this is just natural human behavior. People gravitate toward those they already know.

And when you throw in the strong likelihood that you're going to be exchanging fluids with them later on in the evening, then of course, you're going to be a bit more discriminating about who you're hanging out with.

After two hours of hapless attempts to make eye contact and smile, we finally met a group who welcomed us into their circle. But even then, we soon realized that a get-together of swingers doesn't always end in a massive orgy.

Sometimes people just want to catch up. The orgy with this group came the second night seriously, stop giggling. The first night was mostly flirting.

And that's the weird thing that I never expected: how often you end up hanging around, joking and chatting with each other. Because ultimately, these people are friends first albeit friends who make each other sticky.

As we delved into the scene, we realized that every couple has their own specific interests. Some prefer to attend parties and participate in orgies like my wife and I, as we soon realized.

Some are more "introverted" I know, it's a weird term in this situation , preferring to meet other couples through the lifestyle websites.

Some couples will do everything but sex soft swap. Other couples will have sex full swap , but only if everyone is in the same room.

Many couples get into the lifestyle because the woman realizes she is bisexual, so they're looking for couples where the women can play with each other, but the men are only involved with their own partners, which may sound complicated or even frustrating for the man, but really is far from something to complain about.

And as we've mentioned before , there are "unicorns" -- single women who play with couples, so named because their rarity and allure are almost mythical.

Then there are the fake swingers. These couples tend to be younger. They attend all the big events, and if there's a stripper pole in the room, you can bet they'll be the first ones on it.

But when it comes down to the actual swinging, they're more into the exhibitionist aspect of the lifestyle and ultimately are not looking for sex with other couples.

Since each couple sets their own boundaries, when we're out meeting other swingers, the first thing we have to figure out is what they're into.

There are so many different levels of swinging that even people who've been in the lifestyle for decades can't keep track.

In case the three years of negotiations I mentioned didn't drive the point home, a lifestyle couple simply can't have any communication barriers.

You have to trust each other percent and be open with each other about everything. Imagine the level of trust you need to be able to tell your partner, "I'm really attracted to this person, and I'd like to have sex with them" As an example of that communication and trust, here's a story one couple we met early on shared with us:.

A massage parlor opened up near his work, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was one of those sketchy ones.

He told her about it, so she laughed and replied, "Yeah, you go and check it out. Let me know how that goes. It did, in fact, turn out to be one of those massage parlors where you don't get just a massage.

He opted for the "happy ending," but as he explained, it was by far the most mechanical, uncomfortable experience his penis had ever endured.

He likened it to being in the grip of a jackhammer. But here's the best part: She thought it was hilarious, and they both still laugh about it to this day.

Twisted as that may sound, there was something we found oddly admirable about a couple who could joke about something like this together.

My wife and I agree that stories like this are a big part of what drew us into the scene -- the fact that couples are comfortable engaging in these silly sexcapades and telling each other about them.

We've only been married a few years, but seriously, we now believe this is how you 1 make a marriage last, and 2 keep it exciting for decades to come.

Just because we're swingers doesn't mean that we'll fuck any random genitals that people whip out.

But that's kind of the impression outsiders get, right? Even when we're ready for sex, we have to respect the other couples, and we definitely don't want to be the awkward aggressive one.

So there ends up being a lot of "feeling each other out," so to speak. OK fine, you can giggle at that one. No matter how excited we get, we have to recognize when our partner is 1 uncomfortable with the person we're hooking up with, 2 uncomfortable with the person they're supposed to be hooking up with, or 3 just plain not in the mood.

A failure to do so is the surest way to jam a spiked butt plug into your relationship. In fact, this was something we noticed about our now-divorced friends.

I had a relatively recent series of Skype sessions during which I most definitely enjoyed watching my man of interest masturbate.

PonyPotato , Mar 9, Like x 2. Yes, I like to watch. Im more inhibited, and perhaps more affected, when being watched.

Plan9 hit it. Mutual is key, I think. You would have the option of stroking while watching, and she the same pleasure. Everyone gets to play their hand.

Like x 4. Location: Los Angeles, CA. I used to be decently apathetic, until I realized that if a guy is frantically jerking himself to get off If a guy is enjoying himself, enjoying the pleasure of his own touch, then it's hot as hell.

Poetry , Mar 12, Location: Oregon by way of "Oh-hi-ya". ZombieSquirrel , Mar 12, Alright, I've got another question: What do people look at when watching their partner masturbate?

I'm always looking at her face. The crotch isn't particularly interesting with a hand palming it. Plan9 , Mar 12, Something about a woman masturbating frantically is pretty frickin' hot.

Furrowed brow and kickin' the sheets around Perhaps it's because men can identify with the urge. Poetry , Mar 13, Short fingernails could also be a giveaway.

However, absolutely none of these clues is surefire. There are many bisexual women who dress differently. It all differs on the individual.

I have a close friend and I think she already knows that I'm bisexual, she compliments me and touches me, and she tried to kiss me once.

Does that mean she likes me? Unless she acts the same way with absolutely everybody, yes, she likes you. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Give her some time, she may be feeling confused.

If it's been a few days and she isn't speaking to you, try approaching her and saying "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other night," or something like that and she'll probably give you an explanation for her behavior.

Not Helpful 6 Helpful Try bringing up LGBT topics and see how she responds. If she responds positively, try flirting with her. Not Helpful 7 Helpful I started becoming friends with this girl and when I came out to her she didn't take me seriously and thought I was joking.

I haven't talked to her since, should I still be friends with her? Give her another chance, come out again and tell her something like, "I'm being completely serious.

If she's rude to you about it, find another friend. Not Helpful 2 Helpful I want to tell this girl I'm bisexual, but I'm scared she might be homophobic and insult me.

How can I tell if she's not? Ask what she thinks about homosexuality. If she says something rude, then that's a sign she might insult you. Not Helpful 15 Helpful My best friend is always looking at me, finding reasons to touch me, and telling me dirty jokes.

Are these signs? It could be, but it could also just be how she behaves with a BFF. If you're interested, try flirting with her more directly or intimately and see what happens.

Tell her that you like her as more than a friend if you want a relationship with her. Or you can just ask her if she would mind you kissing her.

Make sure not to ask in a joking way as she may not understand you are serious. Don't ask her around other people as that could be intimidating.

Not Helpful 8 Helpful I told my female friend who is bi that I was bi too, but she doesn't know that I have a crush on her. What does that mean? This could go two different ways.

She could have stopped touching you because she likes you and is trying to be subtle. On the other hand, she might be afraid that you will get a crush on her and it will ruin the friendship.

The only way to know for sure is to talk to her about your feelings. Not Helpful 1 Helpful There is this girl who looks at me times a day but she doesn't act like she's bisexual, does she like me?

It's hard to say. Maybe she looks at everybody, or maybe she just wants to be your friend. You could try making eye contact with her and smiling or giving her some other encouraging sign, or striking up a conversation.

If you talked to her, you could probably get a better idea of how she feels. Not Helpful 10 Helpful How can I go about kissing another woman that I am friends with, without risking offending her or losing her friendship?

Try to bond with her by watching preferably horror movies together. Try to be alone with her and attempt to get closer to her face or put your arm around her waist.

If she seems uncomfortabe, that is a sure sign she will not be interested in kissing you. Not Helpful 17 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Avoid easy labels. They often don't capture the full humanity of a person anyway. Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1. Ask yourself why it's your business to know.

Sexuality is a very personal thing. If you're interested in her romantically yourself, that's one thing. If you're just being nosy, that's another.

Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0. If it turns out she's not bisexual, don't take it personally. People are who they are. It's not a personal affront to you.

Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0. Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published.

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